Stop Trying to Figure Everything Out Alone
Lessons from a podcast conversation on mentorship, growth, and learning from the people around you
I recently had the opportunity to join a podcast conversation on The Inspired Collective (listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify) about mentorship, leadership, growth, and the people who shape us throughout our careers.
The conversation made me realize something:
Most of the biggest shifts in my career did not come from a course, a certification, or some magical overnight breakthrough.
They came from people.
People who challenged me. People who gave me opportunities. People who told me hard truths. People who believed in me before I fully believed in myself. People who saw blind spots I couldn’t see because I was too deep inside my own business, my own stress, or my own overwhelm.
One of the things I said during the interview was: “Mentorship isn’t about hierarchy. It’s about proximity to perspective.”
I believe that more now than ever.
I Think We’ve Romanticized Mentorship
When people hear the word mentor, they often picture some formal relationship:
scheduled meetings
long coffee chats
someone taking you under their wing
or a business guru magically handing you the answers
And sure, sometimes mentorship looks like that. But most of the mentorship in my life happened much more organically.
One of the most influential mentors in my career was actually a restaurant manager when I worked at Bahama Breeze. His name was Eric Coleman.
At the time, I was young, working in restaurants, and trying to figure out my life. Restaurant work was not going to be my forever career, and I think he knew that before I did.
But instead of treating me like “just another server,” he pushed me. Not in a harsh way. In a growth way.
He gave me opportunities to learn things outside my role. He taught me how to build server floor plans and sections. He let me help with operational decisions. He created fun sales competitions around appetizers and cocktails that taught us suggestive selling without making it feel gross or forced.
But more importantly, he led by example. When the restaurant got slammed and everybody was getting their ass kicked, he jumped in with us.
He ran food. Grabbed drinks. Handled tables. Helped reset the chaos. That taught me more about leadership than any management book ever could.
Looking back now, I realize that relationship absolutely was mentorship. Even though we never called it that.
Some of the people who shape your career the most may never formally carry the official title of mentor.
Validation and Mentorship Are Not the Same Thing
One of the things I talked about in the podcast is how often people say they want mentorship, but what they actually want is validation. And those are two very different things.
Real mentorship is not someone constantly telling you: “You’re doing amazing sweetie.”
Sometimes mentorship is someone saying:
this process is broken
your messaging is confusing
you’re avoiding the real issue
your systems are a mess
you’re trying to solve too many problems at once
or you’re getting in your own way
I know that can be uncomfortable. And I know that not everybody loves my style.
I’m direct. I move fast. I ask hard questions. And if you’re a “soft little cupcake,” as I joked during the interview, I may not be the right mentor for you.
But the reason I care so much about clarity is because confusion keeps people stuck.
I would rather help someone identify the real problem than spend six months dancing around it.
Most Business Owners Are Trying to Carry Everything Alone
I think one of the biggest reasons mentorship matters so much, especially in the wedding industry, is because business ownership can feel incredibly isolating.
Most wedding pros are:
the marketing department
the sales team
the operations manager
the content creator
the admin
the customer service department
and the person still answering emails at midnight
That level of overwhelm makes it really difficult to see clearly.
And when you stay isolated inside your own market, your own business, and your own stress, it becomes really easy to believe that everyone else has it figured out, you’re behind, your struggles are unique, or you just need to “work harder”.
That’s why mentorship and community matter so much. Not because someone else magically fixes your business. But because perspective shortens the learning curve.
Sometimes you simply need someone outside your own head to say: “Hey… I think you’re solving the wrong problem.”
Community Is One of the Most Powerful Forms of Mentorship
One of the things building Wedding Venue Map has reinforced for me over and over again is how much people need spaces to talk honestly.
Not networking just to collect business cards. Real conversations.
That’s why some of my favorite things we do are:
curated networking conversations
Sip & Share groups
education events
roundtable discussions
and spaces where people can actually talk about what’s working and what’s not
Because when business owners finally realize: “Oh… other people struggle with this too.” …it changes everything.
Sometimes the biggest breakthrough comes from hearing:
how another company solved a problem
how another owner structures their systems
what another market is seeing
or simply realizing you are not failing alone
Mentorship often exists horizontally, not just vertically. Some of the best perspective comes from peers.
You Don’t Know What You Don’t Know
That was another line from the podcast conversation that kept coming up.
One of the hardest parts about growth is that you cannot always identify your own blind spots.
That’s why I think coachability matters so much.
Not blind agreement. Not taking everybody’s advice. Not constantly chasing opinions.
But staying open enough to ask:
What am I missing?
Is there a better way?
What would someone outside this situation notice immediately?
Am I avoiding the real issue because it’s uncomfortable?
The people who grow the fastest are usually the people willing to stay curious.
Sometimes You Need Someone to Push You Out of the Plane
One of my favorite moments from the interview was when we talked about fear and action. I joked that “I packed the parachute a hundred times. Somebody’s gotta push me out of the plane.”
I think a lot of business owners feel that way. They over-research, over-think, over-plan, over-perfect. And stay stuck in perparation mode forever.
Sometimes mentorship is not about giving someone more information. Sometimes it’s about giving them enough confidence to finally move.
Not Everybody Who Can Do something Should Teach it
This part of the conversation hit home for me too. Being successful at something does not automatically make someone a good mentor, coach, or educator.
Teaching requires communication, empathy, perspective, listening skills, patience, and the ability to translate information in a way people can actually use.
Some people are incredible at what they do but terrible at explaining it to others.
That’s why finding the right mentor matters just as much as finding mentorship itself.
Final Thoughts
Mentorship changes your life when you stop looking at it as a formal title and start looking at it as proximity to people who help you grow.
Sometimes that’s:
a boss
a peer
a coach
a friendor
a podcast guest
a networking group
a tough conversation
or someone willing to tell you the truth when everybody else is too uncomfortable to say it
You are not supposed to know everything. You are not supposed to build your business completely alone.
Some of the biggest breakthroughs in your business and your life may come from simply being willing to ask:
“Can you help me see what I’m missing?”
Questions to Ask Yourself:
Am I looking for mentorship… or validation?
Who in my life consistently challenges me to grow?
Where am I trying to solve problems completely alone?
When was the last time I sought perspective outside my own market or industry?
Am I staying coachable, or just defending my current way of doing things?
What’s one area of my business where an outside perspective could help me move faster?
Try This This Week:
Reach out to one person you respect and ask them a real question.
Attend a networking event and focus on conversations instead of transactions.
Audit the people you surround yourself with professionally. Are they helping you grow?
Stop trying to solve 14 business problems at once. Pick one.
Ask yourself honestly: where am I stuck because I’m afraid to take action?
Listen to the full conversation on The Inspired Collective Podcast below!
